Envisioning 2.0

Welcome to the inaugural edition of You Heard It Here First, an annual compilation of the most shocking and controversial happenings in the healthcare blogosphere over the previous 12 months. Following are this year’s top five stories.

Story #5: Holt, [redacted] To Join Forces On New Blog

According to our crackpot team of investigative reporters, Matthew Holt and [name redacted at his request] will soon announce that they have joined forces to pen a new blog, tentatively titled Healthfire. Holt and [redacted] decided to start the blog after engaging in wonkish fisticuffs early last month. Each week, Healthfire will feature commentary and debate from both bloggers on controversial health policy topics such as price transparency and single-payer healthcare.

Holt is reportedly excited about the new venture, saying: “That libertarian barney [redacted] and I engaged in last month about rationing really got my juices flowing. So, I spoke him about starting a new blog and he agreed. I can guarantee that we’ll have a hell of a time.”

[redacted] could not be reached for comment before press time, but an associate of his told us that he is apparently “stoked” and ready to send Holt home “crying like a baby” each week.

No word yet on when the new blog will launch.

Story #4: Steadman To Holt: I Want R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Kate Steadman, author of Healthy Policy, is apparently considering whether to start a petition on her blog demanding that Matthew Holt stop calling her “punkette.” A close friend of Steadman’s told You Heard It Here First:

“Kate’s mad because Matt does not respect her accomplishments. She’s putting together the petition to make sure that he never calls her ‘punkette’ again. She wants him to know that her name is Kate. Matt: Her name is Kate. K-A-T-E, get it right gosh darned it!”

Holt could not be reached for comment before press time.

Story #3: NHS Blog Doctor In Flap Over English Grand Rounds Edition

Last week, the US healthcare blogosphere was in an uproar over Dr. John Crippen’s (a.k.a. NHS Blog Doctor) “adulteration” of the weekly carnival Grand Rounds. Bloggers were incensed that Crippen created a cricket-themed Grand Rounds edition.

“Listen,” one blogger commented. “We support making Grand Rounds international and all, but we can’t abide by this cricket stuff. What’s that about?” Another blogger agreed, saying: “Yeah Crippen trying to make Grand Rounds English is like an American taking over a beloved British football team. It’s just not right.”

Crippen told You Heard It Here First that his blog was deluged by comment spam after he posted the latest edition of Grand Rounds. He said: “It was very strange. All of the comments said the same thing: ‘U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!’ I just don’t understand it.”

Story #2: Pho To Take Pseudonym, Start New Blog

Sources tell us that next year, Kevin Pho, M.D., author of Kevin, M.D., will be taking a new name and starting another blog. Pho reportedly wants to take his blogging “in a new direction.” When asked why he replied: “You know, I heard of that “Strumpette” character getting lots of play because of her sexy ways. I want to bring medical blogging into the mainstream and I think that sex is the way to do it.”

Pho’s new blog, The Naked Doc, will debut in February 2007 in honor of Valentine’s Day. “I know it’s early, but I want to have plenty of time to pick my new bloging name,” said Pho. “Right now I’m leaning toward ‘The Randy Practitioner.’”

Story #1: Genes: Big Pharma’s Sponsorship Of Grand Rounds Is “No Joke”

Nicholas Genes, respected medical blogger and creator of the popular weekly blogosphere event Grand Rounds, contacted You Heard It Here First to counter rumors that he was “joking” when he said that pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline had agreed to sponsor the blog carnival.

“You know,” he said. “Everyone thought I was joking when I made that announcement. But, I wasn’t. I’ve decided to cash in on my fame. I’m into the bling bling, the fancy cars, the fur coats. I’ve got to keep myself in style and Big Pharma’s got deep pockets. Besides, I’m a genius and geniuses deserve mad cash. You know what I’m sayin’?”

That’s it for this year’s edition of You Heard It Here First. Good night and good luck.

This entry was posted on April 1, 2006 at 10:31 pm and is filed under Beyond Category, Writing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.